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Always keep your chin up. Otherwise you are just looking at your own boobs all day.
Hold your head high, and your middle finger higher.
Before we work on artificial intelligence why don’t we do something about natural stupidity? – Steve Polyak
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
Behind every man is a woman resisting the urge to choke him.
Making fun of someone you’re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car.
As I have grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away.
Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.
Stress is caused by giving a fuck.
Do what the fuck you want. Because in the end people are assholes and will judge you anyway.
Before you ask why someone hates you, ask yourself why you even give a fuck.
Anything is possible with the right attitude, a sledge hammer and some duct tape.
Don’t like me? Fuck off. Problem solved.
I love free speech. I also love ignore, mute and block.
Be careful when you blindly follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
A little piece of advice… Don’t talk shit if you can’t fight.
Always carry a little crazy with you. You never know when you’ll need it.