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Be the best version of you, unless you’re an asshole. Don’t be a better asshole.

Be the best version of you, unless you’re an asshole. Don’t be a better asshole.

Asshole

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When someone calls me an “asshole” I get this warm feeling inside because my work here is done.
Trusting people has made me the asshole I am today.
TIP OF THE DAY: always make sure the phone is 100% hung up before you call someone an asshole.
The world will be a better place if you kick an asshole in the face.
The world is not full of assholes, but they are strategically placed so that you'll come across one every day. Every Fucking Day.
The nicer you are, the easier you’re hurt. So, just be an assole.
Sometimes you have to remind people you can be an asshole too!
Remember, Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
Please don’t be an asshole to me, cause then I have to be an asshole to you. And I’m way better at being an asshole then you are.
People are assholes. Just make sure you're not the toilet paper.
One of the best things about getting older: Knowing someone is an asshole before they even speak.
Nothing brings a group of assholes together faster than something that’s none of their fucking business.