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Attitude Quotes

I’m not easily offended, but I’m easily annoyed.

I’m not easily offended…

When I take a sick day, it’s because I'm sick of you people.

When I take a sick day…

Alcoholic!? No, my dear, I prefer the term “drinking enthusiast”.

Alcoholic!?…

I don’t chase anyone anymore. Wanna walk out of my life? There’s the the door. Hell, I’ll even hold it for you.

I don’t chase anyone…

No matter how stupid you feel remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn't figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn’t her grandmother.

No matter how stupid…

I don’t always work but when I do, I make sure my boss is around.

I don’t always work…

I love you to the moon and back, but I fucking want to leave you there sometimes.

I love you…

Don’t ever make me choose between alcohol and you. I will miss you when I’m drunk.

Don’t ever make me…

People who say “go big or go home” seriously underestimate my willingness to go home. Like, it’is literally my only goal.

People who say…

It is OK to bite the hand that feeds you, if it’s feeding you bullshit.

It is OK…