Attitude Quotes

Your sobriety has truly demonstrated to me that people don’t need alcohol to be annoying.

Your sobriety…

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

Tact is for people…

Taking back your ex is like buying your shit back from your own garage sale.

Taking back your ex…

I wish people would ask me if I give a fuck before they started talking to me.

I wish people would ask…

I’m just WTF-ING my way through life.

I’m just WTF-ING…

Being alone in the toilet is the reminder that you will always be alone when shit happens in your life. Be strong.

Being alone…

Sometimes doing a good job at work is like wetting your pants in a dark suit – you get a warm feeling, but nobody else notices.

Sometimes doing a good job…

My life would be so much easier if I wasn't intelligent enough to realize how fucking stupid some people are.

My life would be…

Please don’t confuse my ability to smile / be friendly as a sign of weakness. I keep my integrity intact because my ability to crush you verbally and emotionally quite shocking.

Please don’t confuse…

Things that shouldn’t be broken 1. Hearts, 2. Promises, 3. Condoms

Things that shouldn’t be broken…