Cynical Quotes

Life is like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

Life is like…

Stress is caused by giving a fuck.

Stress is caused…

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

Common sense…

Do what the fuck you want. Because in the end people are assholes and will judge you anyway.

Do what the fuck you want…

Before you ask why someone hates you, ask yourself why you even give a fuck.

Before you ask…

Anything is possible with the right attitude, a sledge hammer and some duct tape.

Anything is possible…

Don't like me? Fuck off. Problem solved.

Don’t like me?…

I love free speech. I also love ignore, mute and block.

I love free speech…

Some people’s birth certificates should be an apology letters from the condom factory.

Some people’s birth…

The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant.

The best things in life…