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Cynical Quotes

I have reached the age where I am between “pretty much everything annoys me” and “I don’t give a shit”.

I have reached the age…

One woman’s piece of shit ex boyfriend is some drunk slut’s prince charming.

One woman’s…

Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not acceptable for me to point it out?

Why is it acceptable…

Every once in awhile I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them. I do.

Every once in awhile…

If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up, and shove up it up your ass.

If you have a problem with me…

Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot, but not acceptable for me to point it out.

Why is it acceptable for you…

Saying “Have a nice day” to someone sounds friendly. But saying “Enjoy your next 24 hours” sounds threatening.

Saying “Have a nice day”…

If you don't like what comes out of my mouth you'd really hate what’s on my mind.

If you don’t like…

Try to remeber, the greener grass across the fence may be due to a septic tank issue.

Try to remeber…

FUCK: A precious resource you can choose to give or not to give depending on the circumstances.

FUCK: A precious resource…