Cynical Quotes

I’m not a gynecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one.
I believe in annoyed at first sight.
Life is about saying “FUCK IT” to those who matter, and “FUCK YOU” to those who don’t.
Do you ever meet someone and think dumbass, then listen to them and think bloody fucking dumbass?
Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
Can’t fall asleep? Good. Your dreams will never come true anyway.
I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at.
Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered… “who ties your shoelaces for you”?
Free speech is nice but also shut the fuck up sometimes.
For all the women that brag about how many men want them, just remember the cheapest prices attract the most customers.
Don’t like me? Cool. I don’t wake up every day to impress you.
Everyone complains about a lack of money, but none complain about a lack of brains. – Jewish proverb
Do you ever feel the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren’t talking?
Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.
If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would fart.
People push you to your limits, but when you finally explode and fight back you are the mean one!
First off sex on the first night is not hoeing. It’s an interview and if I call you the next day. You got the job.
I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from “You probably shouldn’t say that” to “What the hell, let’s see what happens”.
Of course I speak my mind. My head would explode if I kept all this bitching to myself!
Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming clearly? I feel that way about too many people.