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Cynical Quotes

Before you speak, listen. Before you act, think. Before you give up try. Before you take a shit, make sure there is toilet paper.

Before you speak, listen. Before you act, think. Before you give up try. Before you take a shit, make sure there is toilet paper.

Mirrors don’t lie. And lucky for you they don’t laugh either.

Mirrors don’t lie. And lucky for you they don’t laugh either.

Listen, smile, agree. And then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway. – Robert Downey Jr.

Listen, smile, agree. And then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway. – Robert Downey Jr.

Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. After that who cares? They're mile away and you've got their shoes.

Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. After that who cares? They’re mile away and you’ve got their shoes.

How to be grown up at work: Replace "Fuck You" with "OK Great".

How to be grown up at work: Replace “Fuck You” with “OK Great”.

Don't be a magnet for fucktards and shitwits.

Don’t be a magnet for fucktards and shitwits.

Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.

Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.

Forgive and forget? I’m neither Jesus nor do I have an Alzheimer’s.

Forgive and forget? I’m neither Jesus nor do I have an Alzheimer’s.

Don’t break anybody’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.

Don’t break anybody’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.

Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that caused that stress to begin with. - Alan Garner

Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that caused that stress to begin with. – Alan Garner