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Cynical Quotes

Some people are like old TVs. They need to be slapped a few times to get fucking picture.

Some people are like old TVs…

If each day is a gift…Can we get a refund on a shitty ones?

If each day is a gift…

If you love someone let them go. If you hate someone let them go. Basically let everyone go. People are stupid.

If you love someone…

When killing them with kindness doesn’t work, try a hockey stick. Results may vary.

When killing them with kindness…

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

I am not responsible…

I don't have a short temper. I just have a quick reaction to bullshit. - Elizabeth Taylor

I don’t have a short temper…

Maturity is knowing what shit to cut and what fuck to give.

Maturity is knowing…

I wonder how many people think, “What the fuck?” after talking to me.

I wonder…

I suck at apologies, so…unfuck you or whatever.

I suck at apologies…

Every guy thinks that every girl’s dream is to find the perfect guy. Wrong! Every girl’s dream is to eat without getting fat.

Every guy thinks…