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Demotivational Quotes

Don’t think of yourself as a failure. Think of yourself as a successful fuckup.

Don’t think of yourself…

Not to alarm anyone but is anyone else concerned about how fucking stupid everyone is?

Not to alarm anyone…

Ask yourself: “Is my dick big enough to act like this?”

Ask yourself…

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering WTF happened.

Inside every older person…

I'm not quite fucking sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.

I’m not quite fucking sure…

The light at the end of the tunnel is just the light of an oncoming train.

The light…

Life sucks and then it gets better. And then it sucks again... and then it just sucks.

Life sucks…

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

This too shall pass…

Being alive is so fucking expensive!

Being alive…

My doctor asked me if I ever had a stress test. “Yes” I replied. It’s called life.

My doctor asked…