Demotivational Quotes

A random toddler just waved at me. I didn't wave back. Welcome to life and all of its disappointments you little shit.

A random toddler…

No, I don't need to walk a mile in your shoes, I can see that you're a train wreck from all the way over here.

No, I don’t need to walk…

World is so beautiful, but alas! There are so many assholes. - M.F. Moonzajer

World is so beautiful…

A penny for your thoughts seems a little pricey.

A penny for your thoughts…

I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now, when I don’t even remember where the fuck I was 2 days ago.

I hate when someone asks…

I know sometime life just sucks. Things don’t work out the way you planned, because there is no instruction manual. But even if there was, life would suck even more, because it would be pretty damn boring.

I know sometime life just sucks…

The best way to lose weight is to only eat inspirational quotes.

The best way to lose weight…

Being alone in the toilet is the reminder that you will always be alone when shit happens in your life. Be strong.

Being alone…

Sometimes doing a good job at work is like wetting your pants in a dark suit – you get a warm feeling, but nobody else notices.

Sometimes doing a good job…

Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness.

Life is…