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Demotivational Quotes

With my luck, I'll probably die the day after I finally get my shit together.

With my luck…

Just be yourself isn’t always good advice.

Just be yourself…

People say “go big or go home”, as if going home were a bad thing. Hell yeah I wanna go home. And I’m gonna take a nap when I get there.

People say “go big…

Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you fucking know everything.

Unless your name is Google…

Your opinion matters. Not to me, but I’m sure someone somewhere cares at least a little bit.

Your opinion matters…

DREAM BIG… But from bed where there are no people.

DREAM BIG…

Hard work pays off eventually, but laziness pays off now.

Hard work…

Relationships are like fine wine. They're expensive and eventually you just end up with a headache.

Relationships…

Some days it’s just better to stay in bed until the next day.

Some days…

The key to happiness is low expectations. Lower. Nope, even lower. There you go.

The key to happiness…