Home     Browse     Tags     Random

Demotivational Quotes

TWO THINGS: 1. Where have you been all my life? 2. Can you please go back there?

TWO THINGS…

When I was young I just wanted to be older. What the hell was I thinking!

When I was young…

If you want to change the world, do it while you're single. Once you're married, you can't even change the TV channel.

If you want to change…

"The truth shall set you free." Unless you're in a court. Then you should probably shut the fuck up.

“The truth…

I always say "Morning" instead of "Good Morning" because if it was a good morning I would still be in my bed and not talking to people.

I always say “Morning”…

Think old and you'll be old. Think young and you'll be a delusional old fart.

Think old and you’ll be old…

Some people just suck the fucking nice right out of you.

Some people just suck…

If you dream big enough, anything can come true. Just kidding. Get back to work.

If you dream big…

Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow. – Larry the Cable Guy

Life…

Have you ever been too nice and ended up in a situation that could’ve been avoided if you just would’ve been an asshole?

Have you ever been…