Every day is another opportunity to fuck it all up again.
Don’t worry about getting older. You’re still going to do dumb stuff, only slower.
Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all. – Kurt Cobain
Being single is lonely. Being in a relationship is stressful. Just talking to people is fucking annoying. You really can’t win.
Do not be so open-minded. your brains fall out. – G.K. Chesterton.
Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you’re fucked.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
Every time I say “Life can’t get more fucked up”. Life replies, “Challenge accepted”.
A FACT OF LIFE: After monday and tuesday, even the calendar says WTF
The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant.