Funny Quotes, Thoughts, Sayings, Remarks

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away.
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Anything is possible with the right attitude, a sledge hammer and some duct tape.
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BITCHCRAFT: The art of pissing people off while smiling sweetly.
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Be careful when you blindly follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
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Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
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A FACT OF LIFE: After monday and tuesday, even the calendar says WTF
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Always carry a little crazy with you. You never know when you’ll need it.
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The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant.
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A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
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52% of women fake orgasms. 100% of men don’t give a shit.
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A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
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