Funny Quotes

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.
Anything is possible with the right attitude, a sledge hammer and some duct tape.
BITCHCRAFT: The art of pissing people off while smiling sweetly.
I love free speech. I also love ignore, mute and block.
Be careful when you blindly follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
A FACT OF LIFE: After monday and tuesday, even the calendar says WTF
Always carry a little crazy with you. You never know when you’ll need it.
The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant.
A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
52% of women fake orgasms. 100% of men don’t give a shit.
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.