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Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
A FACT OF LIFE: After monday and tuesday, even the calendar says WTF
Always carry a little crazy with you. You never know when you’ll need it.
The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant.
A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
