Inappropriate Quotes, Thoughts, Sayings, Remarks

Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time...
Dear life, could you at least start using lubricant?
Bitch Please, I'm so freaking fabulous, I pee glitter, shit cupcakes, and fart rainbows.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is just a fucking twat waffle and isn't worth your time.
I am not an asshole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate assholes.
Bitch: Any girl who is skinnier or prettier than you.
Opinions are like farts. Just because you have one inside you, doesn't mean you need to let it out.
Fuck Off Pie: 1 cup of no one cares, a dash of kiss my ass, add some fuck you's, a pinch of blow me. Stare and shove it up your ass.
A lot of us fell in love with someone we should of only fucked once then murdered.
FUCK: The only fucking word that can be put every fuckingwhere and still make fucking sence.
How come when a woman is pregnant everyone rubs her stomach and says congratulations but no one rubs your balls and says good job?
Life is a bitch. So learn how to fuck it.
Love is cuddling until you fall asleep together... Even though you know he farts in his sleep... All damn night.
Fuck the fucking fuckers before the fucking fuckers fuck you.
DEJA POO: The feeling that you've heard that crap before.
The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers... - Robert Kirkman
Women don’t fart. They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn’s laughter and smell like rainbows.
Sometimes you just need to take a break from everything and fuck a little... or a lot.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together we can stop that shit.
What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut will sleep with anyone, a bitch will sleep with anyone but you.