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Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.

Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.

Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. – Betty White

Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. – Betty White

I have a pretty big ass, so when I half ass something you’re still getting something impressive.

I have a pretty big ass, so when I half ass something you’re still getting something impressive.

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.

Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.

Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.

Girls always say they appreciate the little things in life, until you whip out your little penis.

Girls always say they appreciate the little things in life, until you whip out your little penis.

Life is all about ass. You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or living with one.

Life is all about ass. You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or living with one.

I’m not a gynecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one.

I’m not a gynecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one.

Happiness comes from within. That’s why it feels good to fart.

Happiness comes from within. That’s why it feels good to fart.

Masturbation is the only thing that isn't taxed, regulated, or illegal. That's your "freedom". You're free to go fuck yourself.

Masturbation is the only thing that isn’t taxed, regulated, or illegal. That’s your “freedom”. You’re free to go fuck yourself.