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Inappropriate Quotes

EVERYONE’S FUCKED UP. You just gotta figure out what kind of fucked up you’re into.

EVERYONE’S FUCKED UP…

Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.

Don’t trip over bitches…

opinions are like farts, everyone else’s stinks, they are hard to hold in and when you let one go, at least one person will leave the room

Opinions…

People who think their shit don't stink haven't pulled their heads out of their asses long enough to smell the difference.

People who think…

When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his penis and throws it at the female so she can inseminate herself, then he grows a new penis. If that isn't the most epic way to tell someone to "go fuck yourself" I don't know what is.

When a male octopus…

When you try your hardest not to be a fucker, but everyone you deal with is a fucker, so you end up being a bigger fucker just to outfuck the fuckers.

When you try your hardest…

Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time...

Most of the time…

Dear life, could you at least start using lubricant?

Dear life…

Bitch Please, I'm so freaking fabulous, I pee glitter, shit cupcakes, and fart rainbows.

Bitch Please…

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is just a fucking twat waffle and isn't worth your time.

Sometimes the first step…