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Inappropriate Quotes

If you're over 40 it's no longer called masturbation. It's called a system check.

If you’re over 40…

To the women who say "all men are the same". Maybe you shouldn't have tried them all?

To the women who say…

I like the type of people whose sense of humor may be described as "inappropriate" with the chance of ruining family dinner.

I like the type of people…

More money is spent on boob jobs and viagra than on alzheimer's research. By 2040 the elderly will have perky tits, stiff cocks, and no fucking idea why!

More money…

A fuck must be earned. I can't go down the street with a bucket of fucks, giving them out to everyone. If I feel that you earned it, I will give a fuck.

A fuck must be earned…

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where shitty ideas come from.

Never hold…

The longer you stay single, the more they fuck your future wife.

The longer you stay single…

Think old and you'll be old. Think young and you'll be a delusional old fart.

Think old and you’ll be old…

The biggest step in any relationships isn’t the first kiss. It is the first fart.

The biggest step…

Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.

Fart…