Inappropriate Quotes

Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time...

Most of the time…

Dear life, could you at least start using lubricant?

Dear life…

Bitch Please, I'm so freaking fabulous, I pee glitter, shit cupcakes, and fart rainbows.

Bitch Please…

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is just a fucking twat waffle and isn't worth your time.

Sometimes the first step…

I am not an asshole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate assholes.

I am not an asshole…

Opinions are like farts. Just because you have one inside you, doesn't mean you need to let it out.

Opinions…

Fuck Off Pie: 1 cup of no one cares, a dash of kiss my ass, add some fuck you's, a pinch of blow me. Stare and shove it up your ass.

FUCK OFF PIE…

A lot of us fell in love with someone we should of only fucked once.

A lot of us…

FUCK: The only fucking word that can be put every fuckingwhere and still make fucking sense.

FUCK…

How come when a woman is pregnant everyone rubs her stomach and says congratulations but no one rubs your balls and says good job?

How come…

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