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The longer you stay single, the more they fuck your future wife.

The longer you stay single…

Think old and you'll be old. Think young and you'll be a delusional old fart.

Think old and you’ll be old…

The biggest step in any relationships isn’t the first kiss. It is the first fart.

The biggest step…

Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.

Fart…

Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. – Betty White

Why do people say…

I have a pretty big ass, so when I half ass something you’re still getting something impressive.

I have a pretty big ass…

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.

If people are talking…

Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.

Women fake orgasms…

Girls always say they appreciate the little things in life, until you whip out your little penis.

Girls always say…

Life is all about ass. You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or living with one.

Life is all about ass…