Inappropriate Quotes

Chances are if it’s tasteless and inappropriate I will think it’s totally hilarious.

Chances are…

Off is a general direction in which I wish you would fuck.

Off is a general direction…

Some people’s third eye is their butthole.

Some people’s third eye…

Trust you? I check the tissue after I wipe my own ass. I don’t trust shit.

Trust you?…

Remember the magic words: "please", "thank you", and "step off motherfucker".

Remember the magic words…

The thing about humans, they’ll lick each other’s buttholes but ask for a new fork if it falls on the ground.

The thing about humans…

My ass contemplates those who talk behind my back. - Francis Picabia

My ass contemplates…

If I had one wish I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss.

If I had one wish…

Just because you have a beard, it doesn’t mean you’re a man. Vaginas can grow hair too.

Just because you have a beard…

I said I was smart. I never said I had my shit together.

I said I was smart…