DEJA POO: The feeling that you've heard that crap before.
The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers... - Robert Kirkman
Women don’t fart. They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn’s laughter and smell like rainbows.
Sometimes you just need to take a break from everything and fuck a little... or a lot.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together we can stop that shit.
What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut will sleep with anyone, a bitch will sleep with anyone but you.
OK, I was wrong, I apologize, UNFUCK YOU.
I didn't give a fuck. Then I drank RedBull, now I don't give a flying fuck.
You can cunt on me. One missing letter can destroy friendships.
You talk so much shit. I don't know whether to offer you a breath mint or toilet paper.
Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? Go ask your mother.
Never trust a girl who doesn't fart. Hard telling what else she's holding back from you.
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, then it's probably shit.
You know the sex is good when it sounds like running in flip flops.
Have you ever wondered if the dollar bills in your purse or wallet were ever in a strippers but crack? I bet you're wondering now. Have a nice day!
I'm honestly convinced some women don't fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.
I don't get this whole, "no fucks given thing"... I have a ton of fucks to give: fuck off, fuck you, fuck that,fuck this...
In a room full of dicks You should not be an asshole.
I swear some people must have been conceived through anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.
Just how deep is the average vagina, actually? Deep enough for a man to lose his house, his car, his dog, and half of his savings and assets.
If I ever give a flying fuck, it'll be because it's sex position.
Having a bad day? You could be a siamese twin attached to a gay brother who has a date and you you're the only one with an ass
Three rules for life: 1 Fuck, 2 Don't give a fuck, 3 Don't be fucked over
If you're over 40 it's no longer called masturbation. It's called a system check.
To the women who say "all men are the same". Maybe you shouldn't have tried them all?