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The FUCKENING: When your day is going well and you don’t trust it and some shit finally goes down. Ah, there it is, the fuckening.

The FUCKENING: When your day is going well and you don’t trust it and some shit finally goes down. Ah, there it is, the fuckening.

You deserve peace. Normalize telling people to fuck off.

You deserve peace. Normalize telling people to fuck off.

Almost every hand you have ever shaken has had a dick in it.

Almost every hand you have ever shaken has had a dick in it.

Not sure if I hate everyone because they’re assholes or if I’m an asshole because I hate everyone.

Not sure if I hate everyone because they’re assholes or if I’m an asshole because I hate everyone.

Whoever invented swear words is my fucking hero.

Whoever invented swear words is my fucking hero.

My ass may be dumb, but I ain’t no dumbass. - Samuel L. Jackson

My ass may be dumb, but I ain’t no dumbass. – Samuel L. Jackson

Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.

Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.

How many times does one need to say “Excuse me” before “Holly shit, get out of the fucking way” becomes acceptable?

How many times does one need to say “Excuse me” before “Holly shit, get out of the fucking way” becomes acceptable?

Once a fuckboy, always a fuckboy.

Once a fuckboy, always a fuckboy.

People say swearing is an unattractive trait. Good thing I don't give a fuck what people think.

People say swearing is an unattractive trait. Good thing I don’t give a fuck what people think.