Home     Browse     Tags     Random

Inappropriate Quotes

Maybe it’s not life that sucks. Maybe it’s just the people you let in your life that suck.

Maybe it’s not life…

Before you speak, listen. Before you act, think. Before you give up try. Before you take a shit, make sure there is toilet paper.

Before you speak…

Don't be a magnet for fucktards and shitwits.

Don’t be a magnet…

Don’t make excuses for nasty people. You can’t put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.

Don’t make excuses…

Blessed are the constipated for they don’t give a shit.

Blessed are the constipated…

Complaining is mouth farting. And like any farting, I don’t mind hearing my own, but I don’t want to hear anyone else’s.

Complaining is…

“As fuck” is my favorite unit of measurement.

“As fuck”…

Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you’re fucked.

Before sex…

Life is like a dick. Sometimes it's up... Sometimes it's down... But it won't be hard forever.

Life is…

Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

Being a dick…