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Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you’re fucked.

Before sex…

Life is like a dick. Sometimes it's up... Sometimes it's down... But it won't be hard forever.

Life is…

Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

Being a dick…

Life is like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

Life is like…

Stress is caused by giving a fuck.

Stress is caused…

52% of women fake orgasms. 100% of men don’t give a shit.

52% of women…