Inappropriate

Of course life is a bitch. If it was a slut it would be easy.
Share
Life is a dick, sometimes it gets hard for no reason.
Share
Men look at woman’s behind and go “wow! What an ass!” Woman look at man’s face and think the same.
Share
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Share
Before you speak, listen. Before you act, think. Before you give up try. Before you take a shit, make sure there is toilet paper.
Share
Don’t make excuses for nasty people. You can’t put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.
Share
Complaining is mouth farting. And like any farting, I don’t mind hearing my own, but I don’t want to hear anyone else’s.
Share
Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you’re fucked.
Share
Life is like a dick. Sometimes it's up... Sometimes it's down... But it won't be hard forever.
Share
Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.
Share
52% of women fake orgasms. 100% of men don’t give a shit.
Share