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Life Quotes

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

If you have an opinion…

Of course life is a bitch. If it was a slut it would be easy.

Of course life is a bitch…

Life is a lot like a penis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely… then woman makes it hard.

Life is a lot like…

Sometimes I have to tell myself it’s just not worth the jail time.

Sometimes I have to tell myself…

I would rather be known in life as an Honest Sinner, than a Lying Hypocrite.

I would rather be known…

My entire life can be summed up in one sentence: “Well, that didn’t go as planned” – Darynda Jones

My entire life…

Every day of my life forces me to add another name to the list of people who can kiss my fucking ass.

Every day of my life…

KARMASUTRA: When life fucks you in all sorts of creative ways.

KARMASUTRA…

Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all. – Kurt Cobain

Nobody dies a virgin…

I love being me. It pisses off all the right people.

I love being me…