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Offensive Quotes, Thoughts, Sayings, Remarks

Every evening when I tell my boss "Have a good night", what I really saying is "Go fuck yourself".

How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the fuck out of my way" becomes acceptable?

I am much nicer if you don't get to know me.

People who think their shit don't stink haven't pulled their heads out of their asses long enough to smell the difference.

Is it just me or do idiots multiply quicker than normal people?

Remember, if you have an issue with me I will never give a flying fuck. My life, my rules. Can’t handle it? Fuck the fuck off.

Let's not make this more complicated than it has to be. If you don't want to be called out on your shit, don't act shitty.

I hate when people use their zodiac to justify shitty behaviour like "Sorry I can't help it, I'm a Scorpio". No Susan, you're just a bitch.

If I offended you, cry me a river. I’ll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears eating chips and working on my tan.

Don’t tell me to calm down. I’ll throw a fucking desk at your face.

Some people are like tractors. They're good at spreading shit.

Ambitchious: Striving to be more of a bitch than the average bitch.

People like to say they are "Real", but they don't say real what. Real shady, real needy, a real piece of shit. Sorry, but I need you to be more specific.

And a "Fuck You" goes to every person who took advantage of my kindness.

The fact that the jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.

I’m not sure that we all have an inner child, but some definitely have an inner-idiot they have no control whatsoever over.

Wherever you go there is always going to be that one bitch you will feel the urge to punch in the face every time you see her.

My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.

Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.

I would slap you, but shit splatters.

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