Offensive

I swear some people must have been conceived through anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.
Some people aren't just missing the odd screw. The whole freakin' toolbox is gone
I look at people sometimes and think... Really? That's the sperm that won!?
Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
So let me get this straight. Women wear fake hear, nails, lashes, contacts. Buy fake tits, lips, ass, and get botox... but want a real man?
Don't wait till your deathbed to tell people how you feel. Tell them to fuck off today.
TWO THINGS: 1. Where have you been all my life? 2. Can you please go back there?
If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your EGO and jump to your IQ.
I may look calm but in my head I've punched you in the face five times.
Some days you meet someone and you immediately know you want to spend the rest of your days without them.
I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today.
I don't care if you hate me, I don't live to fucking please you.
To the women who say “all men are the same”. Maybe you shouldn’t have tried them all?
Treat others the way you want to be treated. Except fuckfaces. Treat them like fuckfaces.
We used to have village idiots, but with the internet, the fuckers have gone global.
Sometimes I wonder why I don't have many friends. Then I hear some of the stupid shit that comes out of people's mouths and I remember.
I have come to realize that "diarrhea of the mouth" is a direct side effect of "shit-for-brains". Some should seek medical attention immediately.
I was taught to think before I act, so if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured, I've thought about it, and am confident in my decision.
If I have to fight for your attention then fuck your attention.

If I have to fight for your attention then fuck your attention.

Some people are so full of shit!! They should have flushing handles instead of ears!!

Some people are so full of shit!! They should have flushing handles instead of ears!!