Offensive Quotes, Thoughts, Sayings, Remarks

Every evening when I tell my boss "Have a good night", what I really saying is "Go fuck yourself".
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How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the fuck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
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I am much nicer if you don't get to know me.
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People who think their shit don't stink haven't pulled their heads out of their asses long enough to smell the difference.
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Is it just me or do idiots multiply quicker than normal people?
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Remember, if you have an issue with me I will never give a flying fuck. My life, my rules. Can’t handle it? Fuck the fuck off.
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Let's not make this more complicated than it has to be. If you don't want to be called out on your shit, don't act shitty.
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I hate when people use their zodiac to justify shitty behaviour like "Sorry I can't help it, I'm a Scorpio". No Susan, you're just a bitch.
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If I offended you, cry me a river. I’ll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears eating chips and working on my tan.
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Don’t tell me to calm down. I’ll throw a fucking desk at your face.
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Some people are like tractors. They're good at spreading shit.
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Ambitchious: Striving to be more of a bitch than the average bitch.
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People like to say they are "Real", but they don't say real what. Real shady, real needy, a real piece of shit. Sorry, but I need you to be more specific.
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And a "Fuck You" goes to every person who took advantage of my kindness.
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The fact that the jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.
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I’m not sure that we all have an inner child, but some definitely have an inner-idiot they have no control whatsoever over.
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Wherever you go there is always going to be that one bitch you will feel the urge to punch in the face every time you see her.
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My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
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I would slap you, but shit splatters.
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