Offensive Quotes

Just because you have a beard, it doesn’t mean you’re a man. Vaginas can grow hair too.

Just because you have a beard…

My life would be so much easier if I wasn't intelligent enough to realize how fucking stupid some people are.

My life would be…

Please don’t confuse my ability to smile / be friendly as a sign of weakness. I keep my integrity intact because my ability to crush you verbally and emotionally quite shocking.

Please don’t confuse…

You remind me of a software update. Whenever I see you, I usually think "Not now".

You remind me…

WARNING! I have restless leg syndrome and may not be able to stop myself from kicking your ass.

WARNING!…

I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying, “I am a vet, therefore I drive like an animal”. Suddenly I realised how many gynecologists there are on the road.

I saw a car…

Just when I thought the limit of stupidity was set, some idiot raises the bar.

Just when I thought…

I wear all black to remind you notto mess with me, because I’m already dressed for your funeral.

I wear all black…

The difference between tequila and your opinion is I asked for tequila.

The difference…

It must be hard putting makeup on your two faces everyday.

It must be hard…