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Free speech is nice but also shut the fuck up sometimes.

Free speech is nice but also shut the fuck up sometimes.

For all the women that brag about how many men want them, just remember the cheapest prices attract the most customers.

For all the women that brag about how many men want them, just remember the cheapest prices attract the most customers.

Everyone complains about a lack of money, but none complain about a lack of brains. – Jewish proverb

Everyone complains about a lack of money, but none complain about a lack of brains. – Jewish proverb

Do you ever feel the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren’t talking?

Do you ever feel the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren’t talking?

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Do you ever meet someone for the first time and want to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?

Do you ever meet someone for the first time and want to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?

“Be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give to some people. – Thomas L. Masson

“Be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give to some people. – Thomas L. Masson

BOSSHOLE: A person who turns into an asshole ten seconds after being made supervisor.

BOSSHOLE: A person who turns into an asshole ten seconds after being made supervisor.

My ex has one very annoying habit. Breathing.

My ex has one very annoying habit. Breathing.

Have you ever met someone and thought, “There goes the reason why contraceptives were invented?”

Have you ever met someone and thought, “There goes the reason why contraceptives were invented?”