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Offensive Quotes

Taking your ex back is like trying to put poop back in your butt.

Taking your ex back…

Everything happens for a reason and sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and made a bad decision.

Everything happens…

Forget about the zombie apocalypse, it’s never gonna happen. Worry about the dumbass apocalypse, it’s already upon ass.

Forget about…

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.

I can only please…

From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.

From the moment…

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

Don’t think of yourself…

Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered… “who ties your shoelaces for you”?

Have you ever listened…

Free speech is nice but also shut the fuck up sometimes.

Free speech is nice…

For all the women that brag about how many men want them, just remember the cheapest prices attract the most customers.

For all the women…

Everyone complains about a lack of money, but none complain about a lack of brains. – Jewish proverb

Everyone complains…