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Offensive Quotes

I was taught to think before I act, so if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured, I've thought about it, and am confident in my decision.

I was taught to think…

If I have to fight for your attention then fuck your attention.

If I have to fight…

Some people are so full of shit!! They should have flushing handles instead of ears!!

Some people…

We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.

We live in the era…

The longer you stay single, the more they fuck your future wife.

The longer you stay single…

You know what is cheaper than therapy? Admitting you're batshit crazy and running with it.

You know what is cheaper…

I’m not put on this earth to please your sorry ass.

I’m not put on this earth…

Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone's throat.

Stress balls really work…

The world would be a better place if everyone took a chill pill. It would get even better if some of them would choke on it.

The world…

Usually, when I say “Excuse me” I actually mean, “Get the fuck out of my way!”

Usually…