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Offensive Quotes

From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.

From the moment…

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

Don’t think of yourself…

Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered… “who ties your shoelaces for you”?

Have you ever listened…

Free speech is nice but also shut the fuck up sometimes.

Free speech is nice…

For all the women that brag about how many men want them, just remember the cheapest prices attract the most customers.

For all the women…

Everyone complains about a lack of money, but none complain about a lack of brains. – Jewish proverb

Everyone complains…

Do you ever feel the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren’t talking?

Do you ever feel…

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Remember…

Do you ever meet someone for the first time and want to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?

Do you ever meet someone…

“Be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give to some people. – Thomas L. Masson

“Be yourself”…