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Fuck being the bigger person, I’m going to start biting people.

Fuck being the bigger person…

I say “fuck” so much I literally forgot it offends some people.

I say “fuck” so much…

Every once in awhile I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them. I do.

Every once in awhile…

I wish more people would respect my personal space. I only need 2-3 miles.

I wish more people would respect…

Some people are wise and some are otherwise.

Some people are wise…

I’ve found that if you tuck one part of your pant legs into your sock, people expect less of you.

I’ve found…

I know I rub a lot of people the wrong way, but in my defence they’re all pussies.

I know I rub…

Oh, I don’t try to hide my weird. I like to wave it around. It scares off the boring people and it’s like a beacon for my fellows weirdos.

Oh, I don’t try to hide…

I often wonder if some people are assholes just by nature or if they strive hard to achieve that title.

I often wonder…

It's true, alcohol kills people. But how many are born because of it?

It’s true, alcohol kills…