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I’ve found that if you tuck one part of your pant legs into your sock, people expect less of you.

I’ve found…

I know I rub a lot of people the wrong way, but in my defence they’re all pussies.

I know I rub…

Oh, I don’t try to hide my weird. I like to wave it around. It scares off the boring people and it’s like a beacon for my fellows weirdos.

Oh, I don’t try to hide…

I often wonder if some people are assholes just by nature or if they strive hard to achieve that title.

I often wonder…

It's true, alcohol kills people. But how many are born because of it?

It’s true, alcohol kills…

Some people set high standards for themselves. I just try to be less an asshole each day.

Some people set…

I’ve often wondered what people have against the horse I rode in on.

I’ve often wondered…

I like crazy, fucked up people. At least I know what I’m dealing with. It’s the ones who seem nice and normal that scare me.

I like crazy…

Some people shit from their mouths and talk thru their asses.

Some people shit…

When people say: “She’s a nice person once you get to know her.” What they really mean is: “She is a bitch, but you’ll get used to it.

When people say…