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When I take a sick day, it’s because I'm sick of you people.

When I take a sick day…

People who say “go big or go home” seriously underestimate my willingness to go home. Like, it’is literally my only goal.

People who say…

Some people tell me to be myself. But I always get in fucking trouble when I do.

Some people tell…

I'm guessing who first called it “common sense” didn't fucking know very many people.

I’m guessing who first…

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them, I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

Some people think…

When people cut you down or talk behind your back, remember, they took time out of their pathetic lives to think about you.

When people cut you down…

I hate when people assume shit. Just ask me and I’ll fucking tell you.

I hate when people assume shit…

Sometimes I feel sorry for judgemental people and their boring lives. Other times I'm jealous. I wish I had that much time to worry about things that are none of my business.

Sometimes I feel sorry…

Some people who claim “they’re sick of the drama” crack me up. They caused and keep causing the drama. So are they sick of themselves?

Some people…

Normalize not liking people without conflict. It’s no beef, you're just not my vibe.

Normalize not liking…