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Rude Quotes

I’m not good at push ups, pull ups and sit ups. I’m pretty good at fuck ups though.

I’m not good at push ups…

Do you ever meet someone for the first time and want to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?

Do you ever meet someone…

Before you judge me, you better make sure you're fucking perfect.

Before you judge me…

“Be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give to some people. – Thomas L. Masson

“Be yourself”…

I don’t owe anyone any explanations for why I do the shit I do.

I don’t owe…

I wish more people were fluent in silence.

I wish…

BOSSHOLE: A person who turns into an asshole ten seconds after being made supervisor.

BOSSHOLE…

Masturbation is the only thing that isn't taxed, regulated, or illegal. That's your "freedom". You're free to go fuck yourself.

Masturbation…

I used to care what people thought about me, until one day, I tried to pay my bills with their opinions.

I used to care…

Of course life is a bitch. If it was a slut it would be easy.

Of course life is a bitch…