Did you ever look at one of your co-workers and think how the fuck do you work here?
If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married.
Hang on, I’m still trying to decide whether I don’t give a shit or if I don’t give a fuck.
There is a big difference between a QUIET woman and a SILENT woman. The first one is a miracle. The second one is a time bomb.
Sometimes you just gotta stay silent cause no words can explain the shit that’s going on in your mind and heart.
Some people will only like you if you fit inside their box. Don’t be afraid to shove that box up their ass.
I don’t care what you think about me, I don’t think about you at all. – Coco Chanel
Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, count to ten, take a deep breath, remind yourself that you wouldn’t look good in prison stripes and just smile at the dumbass and walk away.
Sometimes in the morning while sipping my coffee, I think about all the people I’m going to piss off today… and I smile.
People will hate you, rate you, shake you, and break you. But how strong you stand is what makes you.
I try not to judge cause I’m a little fucked up myself.
If you’re going to be an ass, remember to be a smart one, not a dumb one.
I don’t apologize for the shit that comes out of my mouth because I mean every fucking word I say.
I’ve reached a point where I can’t tell if I’m actually dealing with life better or simply don’t give a fuck anymore.
Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.
They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer “fuck off” to “go away”.
My wrinkles are all from laughter. Except those lines between my eyebrows. Those are my “WTF” lines, and those things are deep.
If you want to be remembered, don’t act nice. Act like an asshole. Nobody forgets assholes.
People say love is the best feeling. But I think finding a toilet when you are having diarrhea is better.
If you’re happy and you know it it’s your meds.