Rude Quotes

How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

How is a woman like a condom?…

Sarcasm and orgasm…My two favorite “asms”.

Sarcasm and orgasm…

If you see your glass as half empty, pour it into a smaller glass and stop bitching.

If you see your glass as half empty…

I’ve found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes.

I’ve found the key to happiness…

Life would be easier if you could mark people as spam.

Life would be easier…

Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are, the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway.

Arguing with idiots…

Is “Fuck you” an emotion? Because I feel it all the time.

Is “Fuck you” an emotion?…

Some people are like old TVs. They need to be slapped a few times to get fucking picture.

Some people are like old TVs…

It’s okay to be a little fucked up in the head, we all are. It’s only when you are fucked up in the heart that makes you a piece of shit.

It’s okay to be…

If you love someone let them go. If you hate someone let them go. Basically let everyone go. People are stupid.

If you love someone…