Sarcastic Quotes

I'm honestly convinced some women don't fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.

I’m honestly convinced…

I don't want something really bad to happen to you, but if a bird shit on you, that would be fine.

I don’t want…

I don't get this whole, "no fucks given thing"... I have a ton of fucks to give: fuck off, fuck you, fuck that,fuck this...

I don’t get…

I say what the fuck needs to be said, not what you want to hear.

I say…

Just a reminder. I belong to no one, I am owned by no one, I answer to no one. If I give you my time, it's privilege, not an obligation.

Just a reminder…

Your flexibility amazes me. How do you get your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same time?

Your flexibility…

I'm addicted to sex, so I guess I have fucking problem.

I’m addicted to sex…

I tripped and fell into some feelings. I'm ok now. I brushed that shit off.

I tripped…

EX: You're fucking stupid. ME: You're fucking proof.

EX…

Yes, my door is always open. Makes it easier to throw people out.

Yes, my door is always open…