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Sarcastic Quotes

Some people think they are champagne in a tall glass, when in actual fact they're lukewarm piss in a plastic cup

Some people think…

OK, I was wrong, I apologize, UNFUCK YOU.

OK, I was wrong…

When one door closes, sometimes you want to get a hammer and nails to make sure that bitch stays shut.

When one door closes…

There is always room in your life to fuck more shit up. Always.

There is always room…

I like my big butt. It gives people I don't like plenty of places to kiss.

I like my big butt…

Boss: Good morning. Me: You need to calm the fuck down.

BOSS…

I don't have trust issues. I just think most people are full of shit.

I don’t have trust issues…

When your ex says "you'll never find someone like me!" Reply, "that's the point".

When your ex says…

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

I would slap you…

My 4 Moods

MY 4 MOODS…