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Sarcastic Quotes

Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.

Dear Karma…

I'm not sure if my life is getting better.. or the amount of fucks I give is declining everyday.

I’m not sure…

Fall in love? No, thank you. I'd much rather fall asleep.

Fall in love?…

We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all. - John Hughes

We’re all pretty bizarre…

When I shut my mouth and turn to walk away, it doesn't mean you won. It simply means your stupid ass isn't worth anymore of my time.

When I shut my mouth…

I should be ashamed of my behavior. Let's be clear. I'm not, but I should be.

I should be ashamed…

TEQUILA for those times you want to forget stupid shit you've done and do new even stupider shit.

TEQUILA…

I don't regret burning my bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burnt them.

I don’t regret…

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

Silence is golden…

Sometimes you just have to chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on.

Sometimes you just have to…