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Sarcastic Quotes

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. – Robin Williams

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. – Robin Williams

Every time I say "Life can't get more fucked up". Life replies, "Challenge accepted".

Every time I say “Life can’t get more fucked up”. Life replies, “Challenge accepted”.

Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

Life is like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

Do what the fuck you want. Because in the end people are assholes and will judge you anyway.

Do what the fuck you want. Because in the end people are assholes and will judge you anyway.

Before you ask why someone hates you, ask yourself why you even give a fuck.

Before you ask why someone hates you, ask yourself why you even give a fuck.

Anything is possible with the right attitude, a sledge hammer and some duct tape.

Anything is possible with the right attitude, a sledge hammer and some duct tape.

Don't like me? Fuck off. Problem solved.

Don’t like me? Fuck off. Problem solved.

BITCHCRAFT: The art of pissing people off while smiling sweetly.

BITCHCRAFT: The art of pissing people off while smiling sweetly.