Home Browse Tags Random

Sarcastic Quotes

Forget about the zombie apocalypse, it’s never gonna happen. Worry about the dumbass apocalypse, it’s already upon ass.

Forget about…

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.

I can only please…

From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.

From the moment…

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence eat bacon.

Every day…

If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.

If a woman tells…

Another fine day ruined by responsibility.

Another fine day…

Some days my biggest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Some days…

I’m not a gynecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one.

I’m not a gynecologist…

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

I believe…

Life is about saying “FUCK IT” to those who matter, and “FUCK YOU” to those who don’t.

Life is…