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Sarcastic Quotes

I would rather be known in life as an Honest Sinner, than a Lying Hypocrite.

I would rather be known…

Some things are better left unsaid. Which I generally realize right after I have said them.

Some things are…

My entire life can be summed up in one sentence: “Well, that didn’t go as planned” – Darynda Jones

My entire life…

If someone hates…

Ignorance can be educated and crazy can be medicated but there’s no cure for stupid.

Ignorance can be educated…

Speaking my mind is easy… Speaking it tactfully not so much.

Speaking my mind is easy…

Once you hit a certain age you become permanently unimpressed by a lot of shit.

Once you hit a certain age…

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. – Emo Philips

I asked God for a bike…

If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on.

If I was a bird…

Men look at woman’s behind and go “wow! What an ass!” Woman look at man’s face and think the same.

Men look at woman’s behind…