Home     Browse     Tags     Random

Sarcastic Quotes

Be careful around ass kissers. They’re always the first to talk shit and start drama.

Be careful…

Don't like me? Have a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck.

Don’t like me?…

Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all. – Kurt Cobain

Nobody dies a virgin…

I love being me. It pisses off all the right people.

I love being me…

Maybe it’s not life that sucks. Maybe it’s just the people you let in your life that suck.

Maybe it’s not life…

Being single is lonely. Being in a relationship is stressful. Just talking to people is fucking annoying. You really can’t win.

Being single…

ALCOHOL! Because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.

ALCOHOL!…

Can you die from constipation? I’m a little worried with how full of shit some people are.

Can you die from constipation?…

Before you speak, listen. Before you act, think. Before you give up try. Before you take a shit, make sure there is toilet paper.

Before you speak…

Mirrors don’t lie. And lucky for you they don’t laugh either.

Mirrors don’t lie…