Sarcastic Quotes

I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say: "Hey look... that one is shaped like an idiot".

I wonder…

If laughter is the best medicine your face must be curing the world.

If laughter…

The only difference between a good girl and a bad girl is that good girls are very selective who they're bad with.

The only difference…

The word of today is BULLSHIT. No need to spread the word, there is plenty of it going around.

The word of today…

I am sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.

I am sorry…

Just be you, and if people don't like it, well fuck them.

Just be you…

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

The ideal man…

Life is so much easier when you just don't give a shit.

Life is so much easier…

Every damn day I ask the same three questions. What the fuck is wrong with people? What the fuck was I thinking? Where the fuck is my drink?

Every damn day…

Don't talk to me about shit that happened when I was drunk. "Drunk me" and "Sober me" are not on speaking terms.

Don’t talk to me…