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Sarcastic Quotes

ASKHOLE: A person who constantly asks for advice then does the opposite of what you told them.

ASKHOLE…

I have an angel on one shoulder, and a devil on the other. I'm also deaf in one ear.

I have an angel…

I always say "Morning" instead of "Good Morning" because if it was a good morning I would still be in my bed and not talking to people.

I always say “Morning”…

Life is about kicking ass, not kissing it.

Life is about…

Tomorrow's a new day and another chance to fuck things up just a little bit differently.

Tomorrow’s a new day…

The path of inner peace begins with four words: NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM

The path of inner peace…

I'm on that new "I don't give a fuck" diet. I've lost 10 assholes already.

I’m on that new…

I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. - Edith Sitwell

I am patient with stupidity…

REMEMBER no one is perfect. Everyone’s ass has a crack in it.

REMEMBER…

Sometimes you have to remind people you can be an asshole too!

Sometimes you have to…