Sarcastic Quotes

I really do try to see the best in people. But seriously, some of you fuckers are making it so damn hard.

I really do try…

I go through a daily struggle of deciding whether to shut up or go fucking savage on everyone.

I go through a daily struggle…

I don't always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I'm probably at work.

I don’t always tolerate…

It's not that we have more patience as we get older, we just don't give a fuck anymore about pointless drama.

It’s not that we have…

Don't wait till your deathbed to tell people how you feel. Tell them to fuck off today.

Don’t wait…

I try to be a nice person... but sometimes my mouth doesn't cooperate.

I try to be a nice person…

TWO THINGS: 1. Where have you been all my life? 2. Can you please go back there?

TWO THINGS…

They say "do what you love and money will follow". So I ate cheesecake and drank some wine... Now I wait.

They say…

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your EGO and jump to your IQ.

If I wanted to kill myself…

I may look calm but in my head I've punched you in the face five times.

I may look calm…