Sarcastic Quotes, Thoughts, Sayings, Remarks

Life begins the moment you realize you don't have to prove shit to anyone.
Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something. - Plato
If you love someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody else liked them. Set them free again.
Ever look at someone and think, "Why has no one hit you with a shovel yet?"
Me being rude: Shut the fuck up. Me being polite: Please shut the fuck up.
Love is cuddling until you fall asleep together... Even though you know he farts in his sleep... All damn night.
Holy fuck, I need a vacation, or a winning lottery ticket, or one fucking day with no bullshit. I’d settle for that!
My mouth has no filter. I say whatever I please. And most of the time I am just as shocked as you.
I wish they made SHUT THE FUCK UP spray.
Every girl is a doll. Either Barbie or Annabelle.
I wonder if life smokes after it fucks me.
"The customer is always right..." Fuck that! Sometimes the customer is just an asshole.
I suffer from that disorder where I speak the truth and it pisses people off.
Before I have coffee, everyone is an asshole. After I have coffee, everyone is still an asshole, but I have coffee.
Fuck the fucking fuckers before the fucking fuckers fuck you.
They say we learn from our mistakes. That is why I'm making as many as possible. I'll soon be a genius.
DEJA POO: The feeling that you've heard that crap before.
Don't bother paying a therapist. I'll tell you what's wrong with you for free.
The world will be a better place if you kick an asshole in the face.
The older I get the more everyone can kiss my ass.