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Sarcastic Quotes

Fuck normal. That shit is boring.

Fuck normal…

I am going to file your opinion right here between "Fuck this" and "Fuck that".

I am going to file your opinion…

It must be hard putting makeup on your two faces everyday.

It must be hard…

I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it. - Scott Adams

I believe in karma…

Let’s get drunk, make mistakes and blame it on the alcohol.

Let’s get drunk…

Trial and error, but mostly error. Like, a shitload of error.

Trial and error…

Relax… We’re all crazy… It’s not a competition.

Relax…

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

I love waving at random people…

I’m not always right, but when I am it’s usually all the time.

I’m not always right…

Single girls, please stop saying you should give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, please don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.

Single girls, please stop…