Sarcastic

I am an optimist! I think most people are half full of crap.
Just remember that all the shit someone puts you through, sooner or later finds its way back to them.
Rude, Sarcastic, Funny Quotes, Thoughts, Sayings
People: Watch your language. Me: Oh fuck, sorry.
Watch who you trust, even your teeth bite your tongue every now and then.
I have to stop saying, "How stupid can you be". I think people are starting to take it as a challenge!
I believe in fuck off at first site.
Well, aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the the ones I keep to myself. - Patsy Cline
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
I'm not sure if my life is getting better.. or the amount of fucks I give is declining everyday.
Fall in love? I'd much rather fall asleep.
We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all. - John Hughes
When I shut my mouth and turn to walk away, it doesn't mean you won. It simply means your stupid ass isn't worth anymore of my time.
I should be ashamed of my behavior. Let's be clear. I'm not, but I should be.
TEQUILA for those times you want to forget stupid shit you've done and do new even stupider shit.
I don't regret burning my bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burnt them.
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
Sometimes you just have to chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on.
I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.
It’s better to shoot for the stars and miss than to aim at pile of shit and hit.
The stuff you heard about me is a lie, I'm way worse.
"FUCK IT" helped me through a lot of situations.
Some people will talk shit about you to get attention, because if they talk about themselves no one will give a fuck.
Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to snap them and shake the shit out of them until the light comes on.