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Sarcastic Quotes

I would like to apologize to absolutely no one, get fucked.

I would like to apologize…

Your face is just fine, but you’ll have to put a bag over that personality.

Your face is just fine…

What doesn’t kill you will probably try again.

What doesn’t kill you…

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the shit I keep to myself.

If you think the things I say…

He who follows the herd only sees assholes.

He who follows the herd…

You just have to take life one WTF at a time.

You just have to take life…

Behind every hangover, there's a promise of never drinking again.

Behind every hangover…

I can never just go for a drink or two. Always leads to 3 bottles of wine, an argument, an injury and 4 people I can’t look in the eye again.

I can never just go for a drink..

I always start the day with good intentions. Then I get out of bed and that’s usually where it all goes wrong.

I always start the day…

Whatever you hear about me please believe it. I no longer have the time to explain myself. You can also add some if you want.

Whatever you hear about me…