Sarcastic Quotes

Not to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.

Not to get technical…

Thanks to the people that walked in to my life and made it better. And thanks to the ones who walked out and made it amazing.

Thanks to the people…

If you eat well, get good sleep, exercise, and drink plenty of water, you’ll die anyway.

If you eat well…

The fact that there’s a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers. - Darynda Jones

The fact…

Sometimes when you give a fuck, that fuck fucks you up.

Sometimes when you give a fuck…

Once upon a time I was sweet and innocent. Then shit happened!

Once upon a time…

I hate when people say you don’t need alcohol to have fun. You don’t need running shoes to run but it fucking helps.

I hate when people say…

I bet the first guy who threw shit into a fan never knew what an incredible legacy he would leave.

I bet the first guy…

People who talk shit will be reincarnated as toilet paper.

People who talk shit…

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me for not beating the fuck out of you the first time.

Fool me once…