Sarcastic Quotes

Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.

Some days…

Behind every man is a woman resisting the urge to choke him.

Behind every man…

Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car.

Making fun of someone…

As I have grown older…

Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it becomes beautiful day.

Some people…

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. – Robin Williams

God gave men…

Every time I say "Life can't get more fucked up". Life replies, "Challenge accepted".

Every time I say…

Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

Being a dick…

Life is like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

Life is like…

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

Common sense…