Sarcastic Quotes

Don’t break anybody’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.

Don’t break anybody’s heart…

Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that caused that stress to begin with. - Alan Garner

Hitting the gym…

Don’t make excuses for nasty people. You can’t put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.

Don’t make excuses…

Blessed are the constipated for they don’t give a shit.

Blessed are the constipated…

Friends are like boobs. Some are big, some are small. Some are real and some are fake.

Friends are like boobs…

Complaining is mouth farting. And like any farting, I don’t mind hearing my own, but I don’t want to hear anyone else’s.

Complaining is…

“As fuck” is my favorite unit of measurement.

“As fuck”…

Fake people have an image to maintain. Real people just don’t give a shit!

Fake people…

Don’t try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other.

Don’t try to understand women…

pen-minded. your brains fall out. - G.K. Chesterton.

Do not be…