Sarcastic Quotes

I really don't care what anyone thinks of me. I am who I am, I do what I want and I don't live to please you.

I really don’t care…

Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.

Don’t grow up…

I may look like I’m doing nothing but in my head I’m quite busy.

I may look like…

Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm the fuck down.

Whenever I start feeling spontaneous…

When you say everything happens for a reason, don’t be surprised when I slap you in the face. It happened for a reason.

When you say…

There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you’re supposed to be doing something else.

There are no limits…

Being able to respond with sarcasm within seconds of a stupid question is a sign of a healthy brain.

Being able to respond…

WARNING! I have restless leg syndrome and may not be able to stop myself from kicking your ass.

WARNING!…

Women will say they are too tired to have sex. But that won’t stop them from arguing with you all night.

Women will say…

I haven’t had any problem that I couldn’t make worse.

I haven’t had any problem…