Sarcastic Quotes

You can always count on me to say the shit I shouldn't say.

You can always count on me…

Better grab my dumbrella. It’s really stupid out there today.

Better grab my dumbrella…

Shoulda, woulda, coulda. Didn't, wouldn't, fuck it.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda…

Just when I think I have all my ducks in a row one of the fluffy fuckers wanders off and gets into some shit.

Just when I think…

The good I do is good. The bad I do is legendary.

The good I do is good…

I do care. I just don't give a fuck.

I do care…

Just because I appear to believe your bullshit, doesn't mean I’m just stupid as you think I am. I’m just laughing inside and waiting to see what else you come up with.

Just because I appear…

When people say: “She’s a nice person once you get to know her.” What they really mean is: “She is a bitch, but you’ll get used to it.

When people say…

If I could turn snarky sarcasm into a paying job, I would be employed for eternity.

If I could turn snarky sarcasm…

Onward buttercup, there is fuckery to spread.

Onward buttercup…