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Sarcastic Quotes

The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant.
Only dead fish go with the flow.
A cat looks down upon a man, and a dog looks looks up to a man, but a pig will look a man in the eye and see his equal. – Winston Churchill
A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
71% of our planet is covered by water. 28,9 is covered by fucking idiots.
52% of women fake orgasms. 100% of men don’t give a shit.
RULE NUMBER ONE: Fuck what they think.
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
A large group of people is called a “NO THANKS”