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Vulgar Quotes

Rude, Sarcastic, Funny Quotes & Sayings

If you’re talking behind my back than you’re in the perfect position to kiss my ass.

Your dick belongs in your pants, not in your personality.

To the people in their twenties who think life sucks, life hasn’t even begun to fuck you yet. Buckle up buttercup!

Just got a booty call from life. Apparently it wants to keep fucking me.

Sorry, it's not my job to blow sunshine up your ass.

I'd tell you to kiss my ass, but I'm pretty sure you'd fall in love, and then I'd never get rid of you.

Girls have magic powers. They get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.

I could never be a politician. I would start every debate with "listen here, motherfucker"

I am an optimist! I think most people are half full of crap.

People: Watch your language. Me: Oh fuck, sorry.

I believe in fuck off at first site.

I'm not sure if my life is getting better.. or the amount of fucks I give is declining everyday.

During sex, it’s perfectly fine to say “yeah”, “yes”, and “oh yes”, but how awkward would it be if someone kept screaming “yep”.

When I shut my mouth and turn to walk away, it doesn't mean you won. It simply means your stupid ass isn't worth anymore of my time.

Sometimes you just have to chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on.

It’s better to shoot for the stars and miss than to aim at a pile of shit and hit.

"FUCK IT" helped me through a lot of situations.

Some people will talk shit about you to get attention, because if they talk about themselves no one will give a fuck.

Life has a tendency of fucking things up when you finally get to be happy.

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