Home     Browse     Tags     Random

Vulgar Quotes

I just farted. That’s as close to a giving a shit as you going to get.

I just farted…

Life is like a penis. It’s short, but seems long when it gets hard.

Life is like a penis…

They say penis size is related to shoe size. That makes clowns much more scarier.

They say penis size…

If your ass looks like 2 raccoons fighting in a sack of corn, say no to spandex.

If your ass looks like …

You should wear a condom on your head. Because If you are going to act like a dick, you might as well dress like one.

You should wear…

When a man is trying to make a decision, it’s often a struggle between his head and his heart. Then his penis walks in and says, “relax guys, I got this”.

When a man is trying…

Some people shit from their mouths and talk thru their asses.

Some people shit…

Fucking with me is like masturbating. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but when you’re done you realized you just fucked yourself.

Fucking with me is like…

Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Give him a pen and he'll probably draw a penis.

Give a man a fish…

I'm getting really sick and tired of underwear and responsibilities.

I’m getting really sick and tired…