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Vulgar Quotes

Almost every hand you have ever shaken has had a dick in it.

Almost every hand you have ever shaken has had a dick in it.

Love conquers all, except for herpes.

Love conquers all, except for herpes.

Whoever invented swear words is my fucking hero.

Whoever invented swear words is my fucking hero.

My ass may be dumb, but I ain’t no dumbass. - Samuel L. Jackson

My ass may be dumb, but I ain’t no dumbass. – Samuel L. Jackson

Make yesterday the last day you spent giving a fuck about people that don’t show they give a fuck back.

Make yesterday the last day you spent giving a fuck about people that don’t show they give a fuck back.

Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.

Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.

Fool me once, fuck you. I keep it simple.

Fool me once, fuck you. I keep it simple.

How many times does one need to say “Excuse me” before “Holly shit, get out of the fucking way” becomes acceptable?

How many times does one need to say “Excuse me” before “Holly shit, get out of the fucking way” becomes acceptable?

Once a fuckboy, always a fuckboy.

Once a fuckboy, always a fuckboy.

I told him to take care of his eyes because they are the only balls he has.

I told him to take care of his eyes because they are the only balls he has.