Vulgar Quotes

You know it’s going to be a fucking great story once it starts off with “So this fucker…”

If you’re born in september, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their New Year with a ‘Bang’.

Most people have “AH HA” moments. I have “ OH FOR FUCK SAKES, SERIOUSLY!?” moments.

I googled ‘Who gives a shit?’ My name wasn’t in a search result.

Success is like being pregnant. Everyone says congratulations but nobody knows how many times you were fucked.

He loved asses so much he became one.

If there is one thing I’ve learned in life it’s that people are confusing as fuck.

Everybody sucks at something.

I’m tired of getting fucked in ways that don’t end in an orgasm.

Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Tell someone you don’t like to fuck off today.