Vulgar Quotes

I wish I had as much confidence as my cat does when he licks his ass in the middle of a room full of people.

I wish I had…

I’m kind of like a finger in the ass. I’m either a wonderful surprise or make everything fucking awkward and uncomfortable.

I’m kind of…

Sex over 50 can be exciting. You never know whether it’s an orgasm, a stroke or just a cramp.

Sex over 50…

Who cares if girls look different with no makeup. Your dick looks hella different soft.

Who cares…

If you can’t handle the sass, you can’t handle the ass.

If you can’t handle the sass…

A simple hello could lead to a million things. Like butt touches.

A simple hello…

So if a woman’s bra is called an "over the shoulder boulder holder", then is a man’s underwear called "under the butt nut hut?"

So if a woman’s bra …

I just farted. That’s as close to a giving a shit as you going to get.

I just farted…

Life is like a penis. It’s short, but seems long when it gets hard.

Life is like a penis…

They say penis size is related to shoe size. That makes clowns much more scarier.

They say penis size…