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Vulgar Quotes

If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would fart.

If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would fart.

First off sex on the first night is not hoeing. It’s an interview and if I call you the next day. You got the job.

First off sex on the first night is not hoeing. It’s an interview and if I call you the next day. You got the job.

Bitch please, your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Bitch please, your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

I’m not good at push ups, pull ups and sit ups. I’m pretty good at fuck ups though.

I’m not good at push ups, pull ups and sit ups. I’m pretty good at fuck ups though.

Happiness comes from within. That’s why it feels good to fart.

Happiness comes from within. That’s why it feels good to fart.

BOSSHOLE: A person who turns into an asshole ten seconds after being made supervisor.

BOSSHOLE: A person who turns into an asshole ten seconds after being made supervisor.

Of course life is a bitch. If it was a slut it would be easy.

Of course life is a bitch. If it was a slut it would be easy.

Funny how everything goes your way when you stop giving a fuck.

Funny how everything goes your way when you stop giving a fuck.

Did you know if you text your boss “Go Fuck Yourself” you don’t have to go to work anymore?

Did you know if you text your boss “Go Fuck Yourself” you don’t have to go to work anymore?

Let me be perfectly clear. The only asshole I want in my life is the one I was born with.

Let me be perfectly clear. The only asshole I want in my life is the one I was born with.