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Vulgar Quotes

Did you know if you text your boss “Go Fuck Yourself” you don’t have to go to work anymore?

Did you know…

Let me be perfectly clear. The only asshole I want in my life is the one I was born with.

Let me be perfectly clear…

Have you ever met someone and thought, “There goes the reason why contraceptives were invented?”

Have you ever met someone…

If you’re going to be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you’re just an ass.

If you’re going to be…

Nothing brings a group of assholes together faster than something that’s none of their fucking business.

Nothing brings a group…

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to. Unless you’re in prison.

Surprise sex…

If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on.

If I was a bird…

Men look at woman’s behind and go “wow! What an ass!” Woman look at man’s face and think the same.

Men look at woman’s behind…

How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

How is a woman like a condom?…

Sarcasm and orgasm…My two favorite “asms”.

Sarcasm and orgasm…