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Vulgar Quotes

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not surrounded by assholes.

Before you diagnose yourself…

Don't be a magnet for fucktards and shitwits.

Don’t be a magnet…

Don’t make excuses for nasty people. You can’t put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.

Don’t make excuses…

Blessed are the constipated for they don’t give a shit.

Blessed are the constipated…

Friends are like boobs. Some are big, some are small. Some are real and some are fake.

Friends are like boobs…

Complaining is mouth farting. And like any farting, I don’t mind hearing my own, but I don’t want to hear anyone else’s.

Complaining is…

“As fuck” is my favorite unit of measurement.

“As fuck”…

People start shit. Then act like they have no idea how shit got started.

People start shit…

Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you’re fucked.

Before sex…

Life is like a dick. Sometimes it's up... Sometimes it's down... But it won't be hard forever.

Life is…